


King’s Gambit (Accepted)

by ZombieJesus



Series: Brillancy [3]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: But L is wise to him now, But smutty thoughts will probably abound, Competitive geniuses, Drama on the academic front, Everyone at school wonders why Light is friends with L, Feels, Friendship, Getting under each other’s skin, Including L, Kissing, L and Light have to work together on a school project, Lies and truth, Light keeps his secrets, Light walks in the sun and L is kinda a freak at school, Loneliness, M/M, Mind Games, Obsession, Parties, Rival Relationship, Secret strawberries for Checkmate, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, So let’s have some fun, Surprising kindness, The anime missed a golden opportunity, Which has unintended outcomes, confusing feelings, inconvenient boners, “I am L” moment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 04:54:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12674826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieJesus/pseuds/ZombieJesus
Summary: After deducing Light is Kira, L decides to take the To-Oh University entrance exam and go undercover as a college student to get closer to Light. He takes a gamble and reveals his identity, if not his true name, to Light at the start of school. And their game begins, but what L really wants from Light is friendship (and maybe a little bit more). Too bad their rivalry gets in the way of everything.~King’s Gambit : In chess, an opening that involves a sacrifice. White offers a pawn to divert the black pawn. Black may or may not accept the gambit.~—-This is a prequel/side-work to Checkmate in my larger series Brillancy. However, it is also a stand-alone work.





	1. Crush

**Author's Note:**

> Suggest to read the previous work in this series ‘Silent Move’ to fully understand the beginning part that discusses what L saw Light do during surveillance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and Light meet in person for the first time at the university entrance exam. L is wise to him being Kira but unwise about his own feelings about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What You Want- John Butler Trio (https://youtu.be/EZ3C0FK2S2I)

L had never had a crush before.

 

If he was being honest with himself, he’d never felt much of anything for anyone, other than a filial devotion to Watari. _What was the point really?_

 

L the detective had no face, no voice. Everything was done from afar to preserve his identity, his safety. He had no interests other than the cases in front of him. No attachments other than the numbers in his cell phone that did his bidding. And as soon as a case was done, he shut that book forever, and if the pages were people, they were jammed inside and forgotten too. _If you didn't care, you couldn't be compromised._ _The more you keep unreal in your life, the less anything can really hurt you._

 

But when it came to Kira, L was very, very compromised.

 

It wasn't easy for him to admit, and L was a practiced liar. But he was bad at lying to himself. He'd realized it the second night he had watched potential Kira suspect Yagami Light via the secret cameras they'd placed in his family's home. He'd seen things he was never meant to see, and now wished he hadn't. It had tunneled into his flesh, his mind, and consumed him like a parasite. He had become a host to these dark secret fantasies and he couldn’t help but feed it. _A host is never truly alone, are they?_

 

Those videos had never been shared with the Kira taskforce, but they had been watched. Too many times, and now to the point that he couldn't watch anything else when he needed release. _Which had been far too often._

 

Over and over they'd been watched, hoarded like a treasure he would sometimes take out to admire. Or, more like the gun he'd occasionally hold to his head and play Russian roulette with. And each time he watched, it cut him a little bit deeper that he was here and Light was out there somewhere. Not just out there potentially as Kira, but out there as Yagami Light. _Someone who knew what it was like._ A singular existence apart, driven by a competing yet oddly parallel sense of justice. Alone, as he was alone. And he'd never felt more alone as realizing he might not have to be. 

 

L had never had a crush before, and this wasn't one either. He stared at the screen as he had for the past 8 nights in a row and it was clear to him what this was. _It was obsession._

 

\-------- 

 

Every pencil in the room was down, waiting to be snatched up by dozens of eager applicants to To-oh University. It was the entrance exam, and there was just one shot at this. Light wasn't actually worried about that, about getting in. But he wanted to crush it as he crushed every test ever set before him.  _These people aren't my peers, my equals. And they need to know it right away when I address them at the opening of school. I'm different from them. I'll always be different. Stay away._

 

The test proctor held up her watch dramatically, watching the second hand count down. "Pick up your pencils, you may begin!"

 

And of course, he crushed it, and had finished before anyone else in the room.  _I didn't even rush._ But as he headed to the front of the class from his desk in the back, he noticed a very odd student, and it stopped him short. The student had black hair that was in dire need of combing and seemed to stick out in more than three dimensions. He was wearing a white long-sleeved cotton shirt and baggy jeans, both of which swallowed his lanky frame, and...well, no shoes at all, Light noticed with some horror. The student's toes hung off the front of his chair, wiggling slightly as he chewed the end of his completely ragged pencil. _This kid is a pathetic mess_. _But he’s beautiful in some strange way._

 

Light had paused by this weirdo's desk, and it took the teacher's shrill voice to snap him out of his stare. "Yagami Light, if you are finished with that test, please bring it here immediately."

 

The student turned to look up at Light, and as he did, Light saw something quickly pass behind those enormous grey eyes that Light couldn't name. They widened only very slightly, so slightly that nobody but Light would probably have noticed. But he noticed.  _Do I know you?_

 

As he hesitated, the odd student leaped from his crouch and slouched up to the proctor in front of him, dangling the test in front of her by his fingertips. "Done." He turned his gaze to Light and gave him a smug little smile. "I appear to have finished first."

 

And with that he walked out the door, barefoot as he came in, still chewing the eraser end of the pencil. Light shot his back a glare as he handed his own test to the teacher, and followed him at a distance to see him walk across the courtyard, jump into a limo, and drive away.  _Who are you?_

 

\-------

 

L was back in the safety of the limo, crouching in the backseat and looking out the window when he saw Light standing in the doorway of the classroom, looking after him. The windows were tinted nearly black, so he pressed himself up against the side closest to Light and watched as they drove away for as long as he could. It had been somewhat paralyzing when he'd looked up from his test and seen those liquid amber eyes above him.  _The eyes of Kira. The eyes of Light._

 

"How did the test go, sir?" Watari smiled at him in the rearview mirror.

 

L turned back to face forward, hugging his knees against his body and feeling rather small. "It went fine. I finished...."  _I didn't really finish first. He did. Why does that annoy me?_ "...quickly." He rested his chin on his knees and grabbed a soda from a cabinet in the limo, sipping it a bit sullenly.  _I should have finished first._

 

"And Yagami Light? Did you see him?"

 

L took a chug of the soda, letting the carbonation hover and effervesce in his mouth a moment before swallowing. "Yes, I saw him. But it wasn't possible to talk to him there."  _Not yet, but I will._

 

Watari chuckled. "Well, no one can say you aren't dedicated. Entering university just to watch a potential suspect."

 

 _If only it was just that Watari._ "I never thought I'd go to college, Watari." He sighed, thinking of the boring classes he'd have to attend and the boring papers he'd be expected to write. "I never thought it would have much to teach me."

 

"Well, college isn't just about studying all the time, you know." Watari's eyes twinkled, thinking this was very good for L, being around some normal young people. "You might even have a bit of fun. Make some friends."

 

L shot Watari a look like 'fat chance of that.’ "This isn't about fun Watari."  _I saw how Light looked at me. Like I was a total freak. I guess I am. I shouldn't be too disappointed. What did I expect?_

 

 _”_ Try to stay positive. Most people say college is the best time of their life.”

 

L let out a heavy sigh. “I highly doubt that will be the case for me Watari. But I appreciate you trying to cheer me.” _Even if Light is repulsed by me, I’ll be near him, won’t I? I’ll be close to Kira, close to that brilliant mind._ He stopped himself. _My job is to catch Kira, not be his groupie. I should just forget about those videos, grow up and get over this_. 

 

“You never know, sir. Try to keep an open mind.”

 

”I suppose.” _I need to focus on the case. Everything else is a distraction. I could be presiding over Light’s execution one day._ The thought chilled him but he swallowed it down with the last of his soda and crumpled the can.   _I’ve been stupid, and that’s very unlike me._  “I just have to remember why I’m here Watari.”

 

Watari drove for a while in silence, but when they pulled into the garage he finally spoke, “He might not be Kira, L.”

 

L lifted his eyes to meet Watari’s. “But he might be.” _And the problem is I want him to be._

 

He exited the limo and headed upstairs to his rooms, to his laptop. The pull to watch the videos of Light again was strong, a gravity, a magnet. But, he thought of Light’s face when he’d seen L that day and just deleted them all instead. _It would be more incriminating for me than you if I used them now, showed them to the team after sitting on them for so long. And you’d just deny anything you said anyway, as some fantasy. But I know Light. I saw._

 

He pulled up the file on Light again and started back into the case in earnest. _I won’t let it be obsession. It was just a crush. A sick and silly dream._

 

L was a practiced liar. _And now it’s over._  Today he tried his hand at lying to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, L’s gonna have some fun. Mostly infuriating and frustrating fun lol. L and Light are gonna get stuck working on a project together. Their rivalry and competitive natures will be central, and L will try in his awkward way to befriend Light who feels both a strange pull to this weirdo and extreme caution after L reveals his identity.  
> I’ll work some smutty stuff in there somewhere. Future chapters will be longer, this was kind of a prologue


	2. Gambit Accepted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L give the freshman welcome speech together. L reveals his identity, which wasn’t exactly what he’d planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song:
> 
> Dreams So Real - Metric (https://youtu.be/MNYlO5bXf7Q)

After the test, Light took the long way home from the train. There were fewer people this way and he could chat with Ryuk without looking over his shoulder every second. "Glad that's over. I wonder what it'll be like to be a college student Ryuk?"

 

Ryuk was flying beside him, munching an apple Light had picked up from a fruit vendor they'd passed. "So sure you passed, hyuk?" _Eh who am I kidding._

 

Light gave him a withering look and Ryuk shrugged. "I wonder who that weirdo was. The one with no shoes."  _There was something about him. Those eyes. I wonder if I'll see him again._

 

Ryuk chuckled, spewing bits of apple. "You humans and your silly conventions. Shoes. Ties. Suits. All looks so damn uncomfortable, hyuk."

 

Light raised an eyebrow. "I suppose leather and extracted teeth are so much more comfy?" He traced a casual finger down the back of Ryuk's leather shirt, which sent Ryuk into a spasm.

 

"HYUK!" He shivered, flying a little away from Light.  _That's dangerous._ "Well...er....I can't exactly take these off. Seeing how there pretty much sewn into me, hyuk. At least you have a choice."

 

 _Well that sure got a rise out of him_ _._ "He turned his test in before me. I finished first but he leaped up and got there first. Ugh." _So annoying._

 

Ryuk scratched his head, "What do you care? As long as you got in."  _You just want to be the best, the first, the most of everything, don't you? Your arrogance is deserved, I suppose._

 

Light sighed, opening the gate in front of his house and pulling out his keys. "Ryuk you really don't understand me at all, do you?"

 

\----------

 

A week after the test, Light came downstairs for dinner and his mother was standing in the hallway, reading a letter and muttering excitedly. When she saw him, her face lit up. "Light! Light! I'm so very very proud of you!" She pulled him into a tight hug and planted a big kiss on his cheek.

 

Light laughed, a bit embarrassed, and extricated himself from her grasp. "Ok, ok Mom. What is it?" He glared at Ryuk who was making kissy-faces and falling over in laughter.

 

His mom read him the letter she was holding,

 

> **"Yagami Light-**
> 
> **We are pleased to inform you that your score on the entrance exam was the highest possible score, a 100/100. To-Oh University is pleased to extend you admission as well as offer you a full academic scholarship contingent upon your enrollment..."**

 

She turned back to him, beaming. "A perfect score! A full scholarship! Light we must celebrate tonight!"

 

Light smiled and took the letter, and as he read the rest of it his face fell a little. 

     

> **Two students, yourself and Hideki Ryuga, scored identically on the entrance exam and will be delivering the welcoming speech together at the start of school.**

 

 _Hideki Ryuga?! The actor? Please don't tell me I'll be delivering the speech alongside some pop-tart idol._ But he forced a smile again for his mother, "That'd be great mom. Can you make okonomiyaki for me? You know its my favorite." 

 

His mom nodded, "Of course, of course!" She took back the letter, holding it to her heart and sighing happily as she gazed at her perfect son. "Whatever our little genius wants!" And she scurried off to the kitchen.

 

Light sat down on the stairs, thinking about the letter. He knew he should be pleased that he had tied for the highest score. Pleased about the scholarship and that he'd be delivering the welcoming speech to his fellow students on the first day. But really, this victory was all tainted by having to share it with Hideki Ryuga, whoever that was.  _Well, I'll just have to prove I'm the better student after all._ He smirked up at Ryuk.  _After all, I'm Kira._

_\--------_

 

Light filed into the huge convocation hall with all the other students, and walked up the the very first row amidst the soft hum of voices all around. He looked down at his invitation again which said which seat was his. _Oh, they have me seated on stage._ He climbed the stairs on the side and a school official came up to him, "Hello! And you are?"

 

"Yagami Light."

 

"Ah yes, please sit here. We're still waiting for our other student who's delivering the freshman address with you."

 

"Hideki Ryuga?"

 

"Yes, that's the one. Now please be seated. The ceremony will begin in just a few moments."

 

Light took his indicated seat and glanced around the auditorium. There were a few hundred students here. He wondered if any were worth bothering with.  _Probably not. It's going to be high school all over again. Not a single challenge._

 

The students had largely taken their seats in the audience, but Hideki Ryuga had still not arrived. Finally, the school president went to the podium, and just then, someone came slouching up the side stairs on the stage. Light looked over and saw... _its that kid from the entrance_ _exam! That weirdo! THAT'S Hideki Ryuga? And he's....not wearing a suit like everyone else. He just in a crummy white shirt and jeans._ Light looked down at his feet.  _At least he's wearing shoes, even if they do have more holes than fabric left._ He felt immediately depressed that this was the sort of person who had tied him. But then, Yagami Light knew better than to be completely deceived by appearances.  _I knew there was something about this person. I'll wait and see._ Ryuga made his way to the empty seat next to Light and leaped up into it, crouching as he had at the entrance exam. He kept his eyes forward, but Light sensed he was secretly watching him. 

 

\-----

 

L had spotted Light onstage from the moment he'd entered the auditorium. _Everyone else is sitting down, I must be late. Oh well._ He made his way to the stage, watching Light chatting with the school officials and looking absolutely gorgeous in his suit.  _Stop it. Stop thinking that. That's over._ He ascended the stairs and sat in the open seat next to Light, feeling the blood rise to his face but trying to meditate and bring himself back to calm and placidity. 

 

He'd noticed Light's confused look at his appearance as he'd approached.  _Watari, maybe I should have listened to you and worn something nice. But...I wanted to be comfortable around Kira. And I don't own any suits._ He kept his eyes trained forward on the podium as the president started his welcome address to all the other students. But L's mind was racing.  _I need to keep my identity a secret and watch him stealthily. I can do it all semester. Gain an understanding of his schedule, his habits, compare them to the timing of Kira kills. Understand his demeanor in class, what he's interested in, his psychology. I can do it from afar. He obviously thinks I'm a freak. And he'll be adored here. I doubt I could get any closer to him than this right now._

 

The president's speech was over and he turned to Light and L, "And now, we will have our freshman address by the two students who tied for the top score on the entrance exam! Yagami Light and Hideki Ryuga." The students murmured in appreciation as Light took the podium first, then in soft confusion as L dismounted his chair and followed just behind him.  _I'll look ridiculous next to Light. We couldn't be more different. But this is how it must be._

 

Light gave his brief recitation first, something about 'Life springs renewed....' and a bunch of other trite nonsense.  _But I'll have to say the exact same thing._ When Light was finished, he passed the microphone to L and their fingers brushed momentarily, and an undeniable electricity passed between them. Their eyes met but L turned quickly back to the podium. _Breathe_.

 

L held up the paper with the speech in his finger tips and read it line for line. "....Thank you very much. Hideki Ryuga."

 

The speeches were followed by compulsory clapping from the audience, and L caught Light's eye momentarily as they walked down from the stage to sit next to each other in the front row.  _The eyes of Kira are soft. Light, where do you hide your violence?_ And L found he couldn't help himself but whisper quietly to Light just ahead, "Yagami-kun, you are the son of Yagami Soichiro, Chief of the Police? You have a sense of justice that rivals that of your father?"  _L, stop, don't. You'll give yourself away!_ But he found that being so close to Light was intoxicating, so very intoxicating, that he couldn't stop himself there. No, it got much worse.

 

\-------

 

Light drew in a quiet breath when he heard the strange student speak to him so softly and so familiarly, as if they'd known each other for years and were just now close enough to whisper secrets to each other. He took his seat in the front row, but Ryuga crouched in the one next to him and went on, staring straight ahead, "You also wish to join the police one day, and have helped them solve several cases in the past. You are now turning your interest to the Kira case."

 

Light sat quietly listening, eyes forward and impassive, but his heart was beginning to speed.  _How does he know so much about me? Who ARE you?_

 

Ryuga kept up his fervent whispering, "I have faith in your sense of justice and your mind, and if you swear not to tell anyone, I'll tell you an important secret about the Kira case."

 

 _A secret about the Kira case?!_ Now Light's interest was immensely peaked.  _You are no ordinary student Ryuga. Let's see what you know._  As nonchalantly as Light could manage, "I won't tell anyone. What is it?" _In fact, I'm beginning to suspect that...._

 

And Ryuga turned quickly to face him, those enormous grey eyes boring deep into Light's amber ones. A forceful whisper, nearly as one might declare it to a lover, "I'm L."

 

Light felt his stomach clench tight in fear and shock, his thoughts coiling and racing around his mind, and time seemed to stop as those words hovered above them both in the dead air between them.  _L. He's L....._ And suddenly Light was on the floor of his bathroom, curled up and panting, licking the cum from his fingers as tears ran down his face.  _L. He's L._ His fingers on a picture and in his mind, he was stabbing, stabbing, screaming and laughing above the tied-up body of a man.  _L. He's L!_

 

Light kept his composure immaculately, despite Ryuk's mad laughter above him. He let not a flinch or a blink or a breath betray him.  _Don't be shocked. If he is L...he will see through you. Act normally!_ He turned his head to Ryuga/L, "If you are who you say you are, I respect and admire you."  _And I've fantasized about your death on nights uncounted, achieved heights of pleasure at the thought of your beating heart before me, imagined ravaging you and making you crawl to me, to Kira, to plead for your own release....and I will again tonight, won't I? And now you reveal yourself to me? Did you see me? Do you already know who I am?_

 

Light smiled on the inside, where no one could see. But he felt it expand in his chest like lungs and fill him. _You're_ _so beautiful in your strange way. Different from my fantasies, but now I have your face._ Light quickly realized that L’s secret was also his shield. _By telling me who you are, if you really are working with my father, now I am unable to do anything...yet. Oh..._ _I will enjoy this, Ryuga. No, you aren't Ryuga to me...and I’m not Light to you._

 

_Kira will enjoy this L._

 

\------

 

L was very, very glad he was crouching, because things would have become very awkward very quickly if he hadn't been. He was so incredibly hard, it was difficult for him to focus on anything but the thoughts of Light touching himself, of calling out his fantasies of Kira. But he forced himself to focus, eyes unblinkingly staring at Light. "Thank you. I told you who I am because I want you to work with me." _I do? Oh no...._ "I think you can be of help in solving the Kira case."  _So much for watching him from afar._ L breathed deeply, pressing his thumb to his bottom lip.  _New strategy. This will pressure him, if he is Kira. And...now I have a reason to be close to him._

 

He turned his gaze forward again and tried to think about anything other than Light, willing his erection away.  _Broccoli. Bow ties. Cleaning. Loud dogs._ And by the time that the ceremony was over, he was in the clear.

 

Light stood up immediately after it was over, walking out the door. L followed behind him at a distance, and when they were outside, called to him. "Yagami-kun...it was nice to meet you."  _To speak to you, be close to you, watch you._

 

Light nodded stiffly, "The pleasure was all mine."

 

Watari was holding open the door to the limo, and L jumped in. He leaned out, gazing one last time at Light. "I'll see you around campus. I think we have several classes together Yagami-kun."

 

Light gave him a half smile, making L draw his knees up to his chest again in defense. "Yes. I'll see you."   _I can't wait to see you._

 

Light stood there for a few moments, watching the limo pull away and go down the street. When it was out of sight, he spoke very softly to Ryuk, "He just issued me a challenge, Ryuk."  _A game....and the stakes are our lives._

 

Ryuk scratched his head, wondering if he'd missed something. "Oh?"

 

Light kept staring at the horizon and began to see past it, there was something there, if he could get his pupils to focus properly. "Yes." He turned around and started to walk towards the train, grinning to himself. "And I accept."


	3. Nobody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of school and already L and Light are causing trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rules Don’t Stop Me- We Are Scientists (https://youtu.be/9G-jDiTGSfg)

"Wait...so you're telling us that instead of watching Yagami Light unawares, you...you actually TOLD him you're L?" Mogi gaped at L, who was crouching in his chair in Kira HQ nibbling a chocolate donut.

 

 _Well, it wasn't exactly as I'd planned it, but I think this bolder approach may work just as well. Maybe better._ L sighed and looked down from the ceiling to Mogi. He'd been counting the ceiling tiles, as he did in bored moments.  _142._ "Yes, that's what I'm telling you. I think it will pressure him more if he knows his enemy is so close. He'll be more apt to make a mistake."

 

Soichiro huffed in the corner, arms crossed, "My son is not Kira, Ryuzaki! All you're likely to achieve is a reduction in his GPA with this harassment."

 

L pushed the last bite of donut into his mouth, turning his wide eyes to the Chief. "If he's innocent, then he has nothing to worry about, Yagami-san. He would just take my offer to work with us at face value."  _But you are Kira, Light. I know you must be._

 

Aizawa gave him an odd look, incredulous, "Work with us? Ryuzaki, what are you talking about? Some college brat can't work the Kira case!"

 

L didn't look at him and just licked his fingers clean of chocolate with complete nonchalance. "I'm a 'college brat' now, aren't I?"  _And Light would be ten times the help you are._ He turned his chair around, facing away from them. "And last I checked, I was the one running this investigation."

 

Aizawa's mouth opened and shut a few times like a hooked fish, but a stern look from Soichiro kept him silent. Matsuda was sitting on his hands, just looking around and trying to figure out what was going on.

 

L looked down at his toes, wiggling on the desk chair, then paged Watari. "Watari....I need some new shoes."

 

Watari's gothic 'W' appeared overhead, "Shoes, sir? Um...yes, of course." The shock was apparent in Watari's voice. He hadn't ever had L ask for anything new; usually the old "comfortable" but decrepit items had to be furtively switched for new things in his experience. 

 

"I need them before tomorrow morning." L chewed his thumb, now feeling just slightly nervous about being in a classroom instead of his familiar HQ.  _Here I'm in charge. There, I'll be a nobody._ "And books. I think I need some textbooks for my classes."

 

"Yes sir, I've already taken the liberty of purchasing your course books. They're upstairs. I'll see about the shoes now, Watari out." And the W disappeared.

 

Aizawa couldn't hold back, "Shoes?! Books! Ryuzaki, we're trying to run a serious investigation here!"

 

L just leaped up from the chair and slouched towards the elevator, pressing the button and sticking his hands in his pockets. _I'm going to go read those textbooks. I have to know everything before even stepping through the door. That way I can focus 100% on Light._ "Maybe you should read a book once in awhile Aizawa-san." _On Kira._ He turned his grey eyes towards him as if it took enormous effort to do so. "You don't need to go to college to do that." And the elevator arrived before he could hear Aizawa's angry retort.

 

\------------

 

It was the first day of classes, and Light hadn't seen Ryuga all day.  _He said we had a class together. How did he know that?_ The day had been filled with boring getting-to-know you exercises, discussions of expectations and syllabi. He'd even had to sign some kind of ridiculous honor code.  _Like I'd need to cheat._

 

He stepped into the last class of the day, a required freshman Literature Criticism class, and stopped as soon as he got through the door. _He’s here._  He noticed the lecture had already just begun, and the professor cleared his throat and gave Light a look of annoyance.

 

L was sitting, or more accurately, crouching in the farthest right desk, in the corner of the classroom. He looked up as Light entered the room but quickly cast his wide eyes back down to his open textbook, trying to focus on the words in front of him. But now they were swimming, letters swirling, and all the words spelled Kira...

 

To L’s simulateous horror and excitement, Light walked straight towards him and sat in the desk just in front of him. He was wearing a blazer that hugged his chest and hips, looking more formal than was needed for college but somehow Light pulled it off. _More than pulled it off._ And then L thought about pulling the blazer off of Light and he hunched down further in his chair and glued his eyes to the white space between the pages, chewing his thumb. He whispered, more to the book than Light, “Yagami-kun...you’re late.” _And I doubt you care, do you?_

 

Light turned his head slightly, acknowledging he’d heard, but only took out his books and notebook and started taking notes. But the professor, who had been pacing at the front of the class, paused to look over at Light and L.

 

”Hideki-san.”

 

L had been chewing on his pencil and now his eyes shot up to meet the professor’s.

 

”Can you please inform me as to why you cannot sit normally in my classroom.”

 

The rest of the class, except Light, snickered quietly. L sighed. “I have found that my deductive ability increases by 40% while sitting in this manner.”

 

An arched eyebrow, sensing a challenge. “Is that so?”

 

L stared at the professor. “Yes.”

 

“Well you shall sit properly in my classroom.”

 

L let a tiny smile tug at the corner of his mouth, tapping the pencil on his desk. ”No.” And the other students softly gasped and murmured.

 

 _Damn it Ryuga. On the first day?_ Light looked between L and the professor, the latter’s face starting to go red, and hastily pulled his knees up to his chest. Sitting as L was. “Reiji-sensei, I also find that this way of sitting to be excellent for studying. I suggest that we all give it a try.” He smiled up at the professor, exuding all his charm, and the professor’s angry scowl gradually softened under Light’s sun.

 

L was astonished. He stared at the back of Light’s head, not knowing whether to feel angry or grateful or mocked, but barely able to keep from reaching out to touch his hair. _Why Light?_

 

The professor was smiling at Light, but spoke to the class, his tone heavy with sarcasm. “Seeing as how the two top freshmen at To-Oh use this method, the rest of you will try it as well.” The rest of the class groaned but complied, casting dirty looks at Light and L as they all sat scrunched up in their desks. Satisfied that the rest of the students would take care of chastising their defiance, “Now, if we are all comfortable-yes?- please kindly open your texts to page 57....”

 

And as Light felt his leg start to fall asleep, all he could think about is ‘great...now I’ll have to sit this way all semester.’ _Why did I do that? Stupid!_

 

 ———- 

 

When class was over, L leaped up immediately, grabbing his backpack and slouching out the door. Light grabbed his things as well and followed him out the door and outside at a distance. As a final insult, the professor had assigned them as partners on the first project of the semester. _Which means we’ll have to work together._

 

Light was going to speak to him, but before he could, he saw three male students from their class corner L just ahead.

 

The biggest one stepped in front of him, blocking L from walking, while the other two stood behind him. “Hideki Ryuga eh? Doesn’t look much like a movie star to me.” He pushed L’s shoulder, laughing along with the others. “I’ve got a fucking cramp in my leg thanks to you, freak.”

 

L glared at him, his voice low and dangerous, “Touch me again and you’ll wish you hadn’t.”

 

That made the big one narrow his eyes and grab L’s shirt, “Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it? You think you’re so smart.... but you’re nobody! NOTHING.”

 

L blinked. _Nothing?_ In a flash, he broke the bully’s grip on his shirt and kicked him hard in the stomach, sending him flying off the sidewalk and onto the grass.

 

The bully doubled over in pain but screamed at the others, “Get him!” And the other two grabbed at L, wildly throwing punches and kicks, half of which were hitting their mark as L tried to dodge and fight back. L’s things fell out of his backpack, blowing around and getting trampled underfoot.

 

”Shit!” Light dropped his backpack and ran to the fight, yanking back one of the bullies and punching him across the face. _Oh that was a little harder than I meant to._

 

The kid yelped and fell to his hands and knees, clutching his broken nose. “What the fuck! Why is Yagami Light sticking up for this loser?!”

 

L whipped around to Light after he’d knocked the third bully down to the ground, snapping, “I don’t need your help!”

 

“Didn’t look that way to me.” Light picked up the two bullies by their shirt cuffs and threw them onto the grass with their leader. He glowered down at them, “Listen you pieces of shit. Leave him alone. I catch any of you messing with him I’ll deal with you all myself.”

 

The leader looked up at Light hatefully and spat to the side, “Think just cause your dad’s the police Chief...you think I won’t....” But he stopped himself. Turning to the others, “Let’s get out of here.” And they leapt up and ran off towards the parking lot, the big one screaming insults and threats to Light and L.

 

Light turned around to face L, but instead met a foot across his face. “OW!!” He turned his head back to L in surprise. _L just kicked me! That ungrateful..._ ”What in the HELL was that for?!” 

 

L was panting slightly, feeling humiliated, but also incredibly angry at how turned on he was feeling watching Light defend him. “I told Yagami-kun I didn’t need help!” He took a deep breath. “I’m perfectly able to take care of myself.”

 

He swung his leg around again but this time Light caught it and used the leverage to flip behind L and restrain him. White hot anger bubbled up inside Light as L struggled against him. “Oh yeah?” And something else...Light’s heart began to race as he smelled the sweat on L’s neck, felt L’s heart pounding too.

 

L stilled. _Light...is overpowering me..._ He closed his eyes, trying not to get harder than he already was. “That’s something Kira would do.”

 

Light held him tighter, hissing playfully in his ear, “Maybe you’re Kira, taking out bad guys so violently.” He felt an intense thrill rushing through him, their bodies so close, him in control, and he realized he was panting against the other man. _Oh I’ve dreamed this..._

 

“You can let me go now Yagami-kun.” _Or I’m going to become even more compromised in about 5 seconds._

 

“Are you going to kick me again?”

 

L sighed, “No.”

 

Light released him and L stepped back, taking a deep breath and gazing up at him for a moment with his wide grey eyes. Then he looked around for his things and started picking them up.

 

Light bent down and helped pick up fallen pencils, dirty books. He sighed, “Ryuga...we shouldn’t fight if we’re going to have to work together on this literature project.”

 

L’s voice was small and quiet, “Yagami-kun is right.”

 

Light handed him the last pencil and stood up. “You can call me Light. So....when do you want to talk about the project? I guess we shouldn’t put it off...we only have a week.”

 

L avoided his gaze. “We can meet in the library tomorrow after class.”

 

Light tried to smile at him but L wasn’t looking. “Ok see you tomorrow then.”

 

L turned to stare at him, and they locked eyes for what felt a long time. Finally L pulled out a scrap of paper and quickly wrote something on it, shoving it into Light’s hand as he walked away.

 

Light watched him go and then opened the piece of paper. It just said ‘Thank you’ in messy handwriting. _He couldn’t say it._

 

When Light got home that night he sat at his desk, his death note in front of him, Ryuk lounging behind him on the bed. He clicked through the To-oh website, looking through the pictures of the new freshmen enrollees until he found the face and name of the bullies’ leader. 

 

“Hyuk, whatcha doin Light-o?”

 

“Just taking out the garbage, Ryuk.” Light bit his smiling lip and memorized that face.

He laughed softly as he looked down at L’s note in his hand. _I wonder what L will think?_

 

And he wrote the name. _Let’s find out._

—————

 

Matsuda ran his hand through his hair nervously. He hated delivering bad news. “It was pretty sudden. Sorry Ryuzaki. I know he was one of your classmates and all. And on the first day of school too!”

 

L didn’t turn from his laptop, just kept reading about the strange accident, a To-Oh freshman walking into oncoming traffic that night. He pulled up the victim’s picture in the news story and took a deep breath. _You did this._   _You want to tell me Light. You’re trying to, aren’t you?_  “Thank you Matsuda. Feel free to go home for the night.”

 

And after Matsuda left, and HQ was dim and quiet and he was alone, he put his head on his arms and whispered quietly the words he couldn’t say before. _I’m not nobody._

 

No one was there to hear them. It didn’t matter to anyone but L. But he had to say them anyway. _I’m someone to you, aren’t I? I’m real to you?_

 

“Thank you.”


	4. Cubits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L meet in the library after classes to discuss the project they are forced to work on together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunlit Ascending— the Appleseed Cast (https://youtu.be/A-CZi0pUijY)
> 
> Wandering inside, contemplating doom  
> It marks our faces when we don't smile  
> Don't get me out of bed, I want to lay here a while  
> You must come out

L stood in front of his bathroom mirror, looking at the dark circles under his eyes. _They're getting worse. This case is making them worse._  

 

He chewed his thumb, then picked up his old comb (it had so many teeth missing as to be nearly useless by now) and ran it through his wild hair a few times.  _Well that didn't help much. Damn._

 

He hadn't slept well the night before, and while it wasn't unusual for him not to sleep some nights, last night he'd actually wanted to and couldn't. He'd lain awake most of the night thinking about whether that student's accident was really an accident (no way) and what it meant (Kira's trying to get my attention, but why? Taunting me? Playing games with me? Or...did he think he was helping me in his way?). So he laid there, angry in the dark, remembering the feeling of Light punching some kid for him...defending him...and then restraining him. And then finally he'd broken down and tried to recover the videos he'd deleted of Light's surveillance, but couldn't, not without Wedy and no way in hell he was asking her for this. That had just made him angrier, at himself for wanting to do it, for being weak...and also for being unable to recover them. He'd stuffed a pillow over his head to try to bury himself and those feelings with it, and finally fell into a fitful sleep, dreaming of the smell of Light's hair as he sat behind him in class.

 

He tossed the comb back onto the counter and pulled on some clean clothes. White long-sleeved t-shirt. Baggy jeans. Just what was comfortable, familiar, and wouldn't get him noticed. It had always been better for L to blend into the background, when he could. To be an observer, a spectator, not an actor. It was what he was good at, carefully picking apart the actions and gestures of others to uncover what lied beneath. But he didn't want to be under that same lens.  _And I am, with him. He's looking, he sees. But what does he see? L the detective, the avatar? Or me?_

 

Now dressed, L went into his room and grabbed his books and school things and dumped them haphazardly into his bag. He caught his reflection in the mirror again on his way out the door.  _I don't look normal. Cause I'm not, and neither are you._

 

\-----—-

 

Light didn't have a class with Ryuga (or should he think of him as L?) that day but they had agreed to meet in the library to work on the school project they'd been assigned to do together. He tapped out the minutes at his desk, waiting for his last lecture to be over.  _College is pretty boring so far, but it makes for good cover. Unless L blows it all. I need to be more careful around him._ Momentary regret at writing that bully's name passed through him, but it shifted away quickly.  _Its done. No use in regretting it now._

 

When the professor's droning had finally come to an end, Light took his time gathering his things. And when he looked up, he saw a now-familiar slouching form in the doorway, peering into his classroom with a finger hooked in his lip. L walked into the classroom and over to where Light had just stood up.

 

"Hi Ryuga. Are we going to the library then?" L's gaze was boring into him and he wondered if he'd heard about the student's death.  _Of course he has. I should always assume he knows something, if I have to wonder. He's L._

 

L stared at him blankly. "Light-kun is not going to the student's memorial service?" A tiny hint of a smile creeped into L's expression. _Don’t want to see your fallout? Kira probably doesn’t like to get his hands dirty, or see the aftermath._

 

Light raised an eyebrow, but slung his book bag over his shoulder and headed for the door. "No. I'm going to the library."  _Don't let any emotion show._ "Feel free to go to the service instead." He smirked a little at L. "I'm sure he'll be missed terribly."

 

L followed him out the door and down the hall, staring at him all the while like an interesting plant growing in a terrarium. He mumbled under this breath, "Not by me."

 

Light turned to him then, not missing a step, "What was that Ryuga?"

 

L turned his eyes forward, "Nothing. Library's fine."

 

They stepped into the quiet library, nearly deserted except for the librarian, and headed for one of the study rooms. Light set his bag on the table and pulled out the literature class assignment sheet, sitting down to read it over.

 

"Well Ryuga....how do you feel about poetry?"  _What a dumb assignment, is this professor for real?_ "Says here we have to pick a poem and write a critique of it. Together.” _Not only that, but.._.”And for extra credit we can write a poem in the same style.” 

 

L crouched in the chair next to Light and peered at the assignment sheet with some anxiety, thumb brushing over his lip. "Um...Light-kun....this is not my area of expertise...."  _That might be an understatement._

 

Light sighed heavily. "Mine either. Shit." _But I’ll nail it like I always do. I have to._ He leaned back in the chair. "Well, how hard can it be? Consider it a kind of detective work. Deciphering the meaning in a poem." He leaned down to try to catch L's eye, smiling a little. "Instead of Kira?" _Work with me L. We can do this._

 

L took out a pencil just to chew on it. _But I want to decipher Kira._ "We could always just not do it. Probably just a minor ding to our final grade. No big--" He looked up hopefully at Light but any hope was smashed by the horrified look on Light's face.

 

"Not do it?!" Light closed his eyes as if praying for patience. _A ding to my grade? Unthinkable._ "No way, that is out of the question. We are doing this assignment." He opened his eyes and glared at L who shrunk down in his chair a tiny bit. “And we’re doing that extra credit too.”

 

The pencil was starting to look nearly as bad as L felt. He looked up at the ceiling, feeling very out of his element and that made him uncomfortable. "Well, let’s pick something then, I suppose."

 

Light thought for a moment and stood up. "Hold on."

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"To grab some books, I'll be back in a second." And Light went out into the library rows and started to search through books.

 

L was left alone in the study room, and his eyes moved from watching Light's lithe body to his now unattended book bag.  _Hmmmm. I shouldn't._ But he did, furtively, making sure that Light had his back turned. He inched closer to the bag and peered inside. _Just normal student stuff. Notebooks, books, folders._  As Light walked further from the study room, he looked inside in earnest, and noticed a heap of prettily folded notes from a variety of their classmates crammed into the front pocket of the bag. _How?_   _It's only the second day of classes!_ He felt a pang of something he didn’t want to name and pushed it down. Another reminder Light lived in another world than he did.

 

Digging deeper he found Light's wallet, containing his student ID, subway pass, a little money...and the scribbled note that L had written him yesterday.  _You kept it?_ It wasn't crammed at the bottom of his bag with all the other discarded notes. It was carefully folded and slotted into his wallet. He looked up and saw Light starting to head back to the study room and hastily put everything back and went to innocently chewing on his pencil again. _You kept it._

 

Light dumped a few books from his arms, a cloud of dust rising as they fell to the table. "Ok, I checked out some poetry anthologies. Grab one and start reading....and, I guess we'll see what we come up with."

 

L tentatively picked up a slim book and randomly turned to a page, pointing a long finger to a poem. "This one." He grinned a little behind his thumb as he saw Light scowl.  _Its rather amusing to annoy you._

 

Light did not seem amused. "If you aren't going to take this seriously, then I'll just do it myself."

 

Light looked genuinely put-out that L wasn't taking this seriously, making L feel a little guilty. _Ok Light. If you want to, I will._ He wiped the smirk off his face and tried to look very serious and poetic. _Why do I care about disappointing him?_ He pulled his finger back, chastised, and actually read the poem he was pointing to.

 

_**Desire**  by Gary Soto_

  
_It's easy to hunger._  
_One day, a night,_  
_And there you are,_  
_Sunlight between fingers_  
_And you are looking in_  
_Trees. Birds are_  
_Striking fruit,_  
_An almond open_  
_Like a woman’s love,_  
_And a single feather_  
_Rocks downward in air._  
_I’m hungry now._

 

L’s stomach growled noisily. _I really am hungry._ L looked up at Light. “Well, it just so happens I actually like this one.” _It’s short too._ He opened his backpack and took out a candy bar, unwrapping it and taking a huge bite. He turned the book towards Light, “It’s as good as anything else.”

 

Light read the poem and frowned. “You just like it because you’re hungry don’t you?” He crossed his arms.

 

 _Yes_. L’s eyes widened innocently. “Of course not.” He took another bite of the candy bar. “It’s very deep Light-kun. But I suppose you are lacking insight.” 

 

Light sighed and turned his book to L. “Well I like this one. And not just because of some currently occuring bodily function.” 

 

L peered down at the book and read the poem:

 

 **We never know how high we are**  
By Emily Dickinson

 _We never know how high we are_  
_Till we are called to rise;_  
_And then, if we are true to plan,_  
_Our statures touch the skies—_

 _The Heroism we recite_  
_Would be a daily thing,_  
_Did not ourselves the Cubits warp_  
_For fear to be a King—_

 

 _“_ Hmmm.” _Why did you choose this one? Do you fear to be a king, Light? Does Kira?_ He took another bite and finished off the candy bar. “Light-kun...” He turned his wide grey eyes up to Light, a finger in his mouth. “What’s a cubit?”

 

Light sighed in exasperation. “It’s like a unit of measure. It means that our distorted self-perception prevents us from achieving greatness.”

 

L looked down and read the two poems again. And his stomach growled even louder, the candy bar hadn’t helped much. “I like mine better.” _I want cake_. “We should go with mine.”

 

“Ryuga, I’m not writing a critique of a poem about being hungry just because your blood sugar’s low.”

 

Very quietly, “It’s not about being hungry for food, Light.”

 

Light looked at him closely then. _He’s right, it’s not. I thought he was just being flip about this._ Softly _, “_ Then tell me what it is about...”

 

L shifted a bit in his crouch, Light was gazing at him so intently it felt like being under a heat lamp. He stared down at his mutilated pencil and focused on breathing, “The author...longs for someone, feels a desire that is intrusive but natural. It’s easy to feel but distant to grasp.” He looked up and met Light’s eyes. “Elusive as a drifting feather.”

 

Light tilted his head, a bit taken aback by L’s interpretation. They looked at each other over the poetry books, eyes locked. _You’re beautiful when you aren’t trying to be an ass. “_ You say that like you’ve felt that.” _I want to push you. Push into your mind, L._ “Have you?”

 

L only blushed and looked away.

 

Light smiled and stood up, picking up the two books they’d found the poems in and leaving the others. He walked behind L and leaned in close, whispering in his ear, “I have.”

 

L’s heart sped up to feel Light’s warm breath, and he kept staring straight ahead. “Maybe Light-kun’s poem would be a better choice  after all.” _I can’t write about desire with you Light. Everything would unravel. Let’s write about your poem, your choice, and I’ll stay knit._

 

“Sure Ryuga.” _Are you the one now afraid L?_ “Let’s go if we’ve settled on that. I better get home before dinner.” _Did I win this round?_

 

L grabbed his stuff and followed Light out of the library and into the school courtyard, spying Watari waiting for him with the car. They walked across the grass and through a flock of blackbirds which flapped off, cawing raucously, as soon as they approached. Light noticed something on the ground left behind—a black feather. He scooped it up and held it in his palm.

 

They stopped in front the limo, and L turned to Light, “Do you want a ride home? It’s on my way.” He looked down at his feet, the new shoes still not broken in. _Not yet comfortable or familiar._ Up to Light again. _But I don’t mind it._

 

Light shook his head, “No I always take the train. I don’t mind it.” _And that’s where I watch the news for names._ “Thanks though. Maybe some other time. See you later.” Light turned to go.

 

”Light.”

 

Light stopped and slowly turned around. Something about the way L had said his name, it felt very unguarded for once. He gave L a curious look.

 

He was quiet for a moment then spoke softly. “The answer to your question.” L looked off past Light into the distance, eyes unfocused. “Is yes.” Eyes back to Light. _You compel me, you make me tell you._

 

Light smiled a little. He walked up to L and placed the feather in his hand. “Grab it when you find it L.” And he turned and walked away to the train, L staring after him and then down at the feather in his hand. _L. Not Ryuga. Not an avatar._

 

L got in the limo, avoiding Watari’s gaze. “Let’s go home.” He pressed the button to black out the window between them, then closed his eyes and held the feather to his face.

 

_A single feather  
Rocks downward in air._

_  
I’m hungry now._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate your comments!!
> 
> Next up, L and Light work a bit more in a cafe this time but get derailed from the project talking (or lying) about Kira and each other.


	5. Truth and Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L drops by Light’s house late at night. Light and L work on their project in a cafe, but mostly just end up lying to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words - Doves (https://youtu.be/VpZx4YPxwlU)
> 
> Words, they meant nothing  
> So you can't hurt me  
> I said words, but they mean nothing  
> So you can't stop me

Light was sitting at his desk, staring down with satisfaction at all the new names in the death note he'd written when there was a knock at his door. His mother's voice carried through it, "Light? There's a boy here who says he's your friend from To-oh. Says you left something at school?"

 

Ryuk gave him a grin, "Bet its you-know-who, Light-o. That creepy L, hyuk."

 

Light quickly hid the death note and got up to open the door. _Yeah, its him I bet. Ryuga, I know it._ "Did he give his name, Mom?"

 

Sachiko just shook her head. "No, but he's certainly...an  _unusual_ boy."

 

Ryuk cackled at that, his suspicions confirmed, “I think he’s getting sweet on you Light-o.” Ryuk grinned but secretly he found he was oddly disturbed by that idea.

 

 _She means he's not like the rest of my friends, she sounds surprised. "_ Ok Mom, I'll go talk to him. Thanks for letting me know." Light headed down the stairs, ignoring Ryuk flapping behind, but no one was standing in the foyer. He turned to his mom behind him, "He didn't come in?"

 

"No, I tried to invite him in but he insisted on waiting outside."

 

Light opened the door and sure enough, saw L slouching aimlessly around their front garden, poking at the night-blooming roses. He leaned down to take a deep sniff and froze when he saw Light in the open doorway, watching him. "Light-kun." _Sniiiiifffffff._ "Please give my compliments to your gardener. This variety...Gemini hybrid...is quite difficult to grow in Japan."  _Sniff sniff sniiiiiiifffff._

 

Light saw Ryuk flap over and try to sniff a rose too, but it withered and died. He gave Light an apologetic grimace and moved away from the flowers, but kept a close eye on L.

 

Light gave L an amused look and walked over to him, shutting the door behind him. "Ryuga." He looked down at the rose bush, his mother's, as if seeing it for the first time.  _It is rather beautiful and I've walked past it 1000 times without ever really_ _noticing it._ "Well, we don't have a gardener, but I'll let my mother know that you liked them. She spends a lot of time making sure they are perfect." He stifled a laugh when L snorted up some pollen and started sneezing. 

 

When the sneezing fit subsided, L turned his attention to Light. "Perhaps that is where Light-kun gets his perfectionism?"

 

Light scowled a little, shoving his hands into his pockets, "Who said I was a perfectionist?"

 

Ryuk hovered upside down, poking Light and chuckling, "Um, hello?"

 

L only stared back at him with a little smile behind a finger in his mouth.

 

 _Go back inside Ryuk._ Light sighed, "So my mom said you had something of mine? Something I left at school?"  _I suppose he knows where I live because of my Dad. It feels weird having him here though, so close to my secrets._

 

L reached into his pocket and took out a note, holding it out to Light. "You dropped this in the library." _Actually I took it from your bag._

Light took the note warily, looking down at it.  _A note from Takada, asking me to be her study partner in Chemistry._ "I see. And why didn't you just give it back to me when you saw me drop it?"  _I bet you wanted to read it._

 

L shrugged and kept smiling, "I forgot."  _Because I wanted to read it._

 

Light jammed the note in his pocket, a bit embarrassed as the note was asking to study at a secluded park. It had sounded a lot more like a date than a study session. _Why should that embarrass me?_ "Um, thanks I guess." He peered closely at L who was poking at the rosebush again. _He wants one._ "Ryuga...if you want to take one, I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind."

 

L's head snapped to Light and his eyes were wide, the little smile a bit bigger. "Light-kun is sure?"

 

Light laughed at the absurdity of Kira standing in his mother's garden at 10 pm with someone intent on killing him, discussing the etiquette of stealing flowers. "Sure Ryuga, she won't mind. She’d be happy you appreciated them. Flowers grow and bloom and die without a purpose if no one notices them.”

 

L turned his eyes to Light, watching him closely in the moonlight. Then focused again on the rose. Quietly, “That’s true for more than flowers, isn’t it?” 

 

A loud clap of thunder sounded in the distance, and it began to lightly rain. Just enough to be annoying, but not enough to soak them. Light took a step towards the door, but L was walking around the rosebush, considering which rose to take. He finally settled on a bud just beginning to bloom, and plucked it with two fingers. He held it up in the moonlight and sniffed again, "Tell your mother thank you Light-kun." The rain was picking up and another clap of thunder sounded, closer this time. “She created something beautiful.”

 

Light stood under the awning to get out of the rain, slightly charmed as L's hair began to get wet and stick to his face in places. He laughed, "Ryuga, either come inside out of the rain or get going. You're gonna get soaked like that."  _How is it that you notice my mother's roses, which even I never did, but not getting soaked in a thunderstorm L?_

 

L looked up from the rose and nodded, just now comprehending the rain. He walked towards the waiting limo and ducked inside, driving off without another word.

 

Ryuk flapped closer to Light, “Well that was rude. He didn’t even say bye.”

 

Light stood there under the awning a moment, watching the limo drive away, then took Takada's note out and looked at it.  _Something's written on it that wasn't there before._ _A phone number._ Light pulled out his phone and entered in the number, texting 'Ryuga???'  _Is he just playing games with my head? You came here to give me this didn’t you, not some note I didn’t even drop._

 

'Yes' 

 

 ~~You could have just told me your number~~ Light deleted that though, he didn't want L to get defensive.  _Why is it so hard for him to just do things straightforwardly like normal people?_ Instead he texted, 'Still on for tomorrow to work on the project?' Light went back inside and headed upstairs to his room, changing into his pajamas, feeling an odd mixture of frustration and amusement. _I know you took that note L._

 

'Yes'

 

 ~~If all you're going to say is Yes why did you give me your number?~~  Light sighed.  _How is this guy the world's greatest detective? He has the social skills of a sea urchin. But I want to stay close to him and learn more about the Kira case._ 'Are we going with my poem choice then?'

 

'Maybe'

 

Light grit his teeth and pinched the bridge of his nose. Before he could stop himself he typed back, 'You're not much of a conversationalist are you?'

 

'No. I never cared much for vacuous pleasantries. But if you have something worth responding to, I'm all ears Light-kun.'

 

Light scowled down at the phone. 'You said you wanted me to help you with the Kira case.’

 

‘Yes.’

 

Light closed his eyes as if praying for patience. ‘So will you tell me about it tomorrow?'

 

'Maybe'

 

 _Goddamit L._ Light tossed the phone on his nightstand, yanking the covers off his bed and getting in. As he shut his eyes and tried to block out Ryuk’s amused ‘hyuks’ from the corner, he thought that L must be the most infuriating person he’d ever met. And Light couldn’t wait to see him again tomorrow.

 

————-

  

The next day, Light sat in his last class wondering about L’s late night drop-by yesterday. And something L had whispered, perhaps by accident, a couple days earlier after their fight with the bullies. When Light has restrained L (totally deserved, Light thought, I’m still mad he kicked me), L had said in the moment, “That’s something Kira would do.”

 

But while it was odd enough to say something like that so bluntly, Light was more struck by the way L had whispered it. As a not-unpleasant realization versus an angry accusation. _So he suspects me and is looking for confirmation in my actions. Asking me to join the team, pretending to be friendly, posing as a student, of course I knew it’s all just an elaborate ploy. And I’ll have to play the game in return._

 

But it irked him that L got under his skin in ways that were also not-unpleasant. _All the students here think he’s a weird-looking freak,  but...I don’t know...I like how he looks. I like talking to him. He’s different than them. How can someone be both so entirely closed off and vulnerable at the same time?_

 

Light heard the professor end the lecture and as he stood to leave, was cornered by Takada Kiyomi. “Oh hello Kiyomi-kun.” He gathered his books and tried to edge around her but she shifted in the aisle, smiling prettily.

 

”Light-kun, how about we go study at the park? I need a bit of help on chirality.”

 

Light knew that was pretty far from the truth. She practically knew as much as the professor and classes had barely begun. He glanced towards the door, seeing familiar grey eyes watching him. “Actually I already have plans. I have to work on a project for English.” He sighed. “Poetry interpretation.” 

 

Her face fell a little in disappointment, clearly unused to rejection, but confident enough to take it in stride. “No problem. Maybe some other time.” She scribbled down her number and handed it to him. “In case you’re free later this week.”

 

Light looked down at it, blushing, “Er, thanks.” And she left with a twirl of long black hair. He made his way to where L was standing, he’d clearly listened in on the whole conversation.

 

”She’s very pretty Light-kun.” L’s eyes followed Takada down the hall. _Most guys would kill to be able to date her. But not Light._

 

Light blushed even harder than he already was, and felt flustered, but hid it well. But there was still a twinge of annoyance in Light’s voice, “She’s free this afternoon if you want to help her with Chemistry, Ryuga.” He started walking down the hall in the opposite direction as Takada, heading towards the exit.

 

L padded after him, staring at Light and chewing a finger. “I doubt it’s me she wants help from. Is Light-kun sure he wouldn’t rather go with her?” _I’m sure you would. I suppose you want to hear about the case though, don’t you Kira?_

 

Light shrugged, “Not particularly. Now can we do our project somewhere or do you want all the details of my love life right here in the hall?”

 

L nodded, deadpan, “Yes tell me Light-kun.”

 

Light giggled, unable to stay annoyed. “It was a rhetorical question Ryuga.” 

 

“Oh, of course.” L faced forward again, trying not to look disappointed. “In that case I know a good cafe that’s quiet enough for working.” He gave Light a little smile, “They have good cheesecake.”

 

Light smiled back at him, “Lead the way.”

 

————

 

L shoveled a huge bite of cheesecake into his mouth, some graham crackers falling onto the poetry book. “Fth fthut thwis weft fadoo?”

 

Light laughed into his latte, “What was that, Ryuga?”

 

Ryuk shook his head, “Didn’t anyone ever tell this kid not to talk with your mouth full?”

 

L swallowed the cake, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “So what is there left to do?”

 

Light reached into his backpack and took out a stapled paper. “Nothing, I already wrote it.” He slid it across the table as L’s eyes widened. “I figured you didn’t even like the poem I chose, so I just went ahead and did it. Feel free to add or delete anything you want.” 

 

A small line appeared across L’s brow and just as quickly disappeared. “Light-kun didn’t trust I’d do it right.” 

 

”Well you weren’t exactly taking the whole thing very seriously.” Light could sense he’d irritated L in some way by not including him in the work. “Hey, how about you do the extra credit part then? I’m no good at writing poetry.” Light tried to give an approximation of a self-depreciating grin but from the look on L’s face, even he knew it was no good. _That’s one expression I need to work on more._

 

L glowered down at his dessert and went back to shoveling in huge bites. “No, I’d probably do it wrong and just get us a bad grade. You do it.” _Why trust me with that when you didn’t even ask my input into the real assignment? Taking pity on me? No thanks, Kira._ L felt a little angry now, and mentally chastised himself for not having the Kira case at the forefront of his mind. _I’m here to sniff him out, who cares about some stupid classwork?_

 

Light angrily swirled the last bit of his coffee around, avoiding L’s blank stare. _You passive aggressive..._ “Ok then, fine. I will.”

 

“Fine.”

 

They sat there in awkward silence for a moment, until Light reached for his wallet to pay the bill, standing up to go. “Hope you enjoyed the cake.”

 

Quietly, “Sit down Light-kun.” _Don’t go._

 

Light turned to look at him, surprised to hear such an authoritative voice from L. And he sat.

 

“So you are interested in joining the Kira case.” 

 

Light coldly, “You’re the one who invited me.”

 

L tented his fingers and gazed at Light as a suspect. “Light-kun has assisted in police investigations before, but this case is different.”

 

”Different how.”

 

”Well, first, I believe there is a chance that you are in fact Kira.”

 

Light’s eyes went wide with real surprise, and was thankful for his genuine reaction. _Didn’t expect that, right out of the blue._ “Ryuga...you can’t be serious.”

 

L’s gaze didn’t waver, “The chance is currently low, only about 3%, but I wanted to make you aware.” _I wanted to see your reaction, your eyes._

 

Light pushed down the twinge of fear threatening to make his hand shake and betray him. _No. Stay calm. He doesn’t really know anything. This must because of Raye Penber but he only has faint suspicions._ Emphatically, but controlled, “I am NOT Kira, Ryuga! I want to help you catch him!”

 

L studied him a moment then hugged his crouching knees. “I’m going to tell you two lies and one truth. Light-kun has to find the lie.”

 

”What?!”

 

“I am a famous detective. I find working the Kira case incredibly boring. I have every faith in my team’s abilities.”

 

”Well that’s easy, everyone knows who you are. But doesn’t say much for your team does it?”

 

”Your turn.”

 

Light hesitated, but knew he had to play if he wanted to get closer to whatever he was reaching for. He gave L a tight smile. _Fine, it’s just words, they can’t hurt me._ “I’m nothing more than a pretty face, L. I’m sure I’d be no help to you. Because I’m just a normal college student.”

 

L’s brow knit. “Light-kun is being deliberately obtuse.” _Aren’t all of those lies?_

 

Light leaned forward across the table, “That’s the point though, right, Mr. Famous Detective?” 

 

L’s eyes narrowed but he felt himself getting hard in his pants, aroused at mentally sparring with Light. “I can only assume you don’t have enough faith in your abilities.”

 

Light nodded. It was the right choice, but for the wrong reason. _I won’t be any help to you L, because I’m Kira._

 

A tiny smile behind his thumb. “I sleep very well at night. I know more about you than you realize. I think that bully died in a tragic accident.”

 

”I think it’s safe to assume you know more about me than I know about you.” _So you understood about the bully then. And why don’t you sleep L?_

 

L nodded, watching Light’s reaction, but it was blank.

 

 _”_ My parents understand me. I’m very sorry about what happened to that bully. I get bored with people and things easily.”

 

L stacked a few coffee creamers, “The last one, 99% sure.” And Light gave him a cryptic smile. L went on, “I’d never break the law to solve a case. I’ve never had a friend. I enrolled in college to get a good education.”

 

Light paused. The L he had imagined in his mind was not above the ends justifying the means, even if laws were broken. Surely the Lind L Tailor ploy must have broken dozens. But no way was L here to get a good education, given he didn't give two shits about the assignments. “You’ve...never...?”

 

L went back to stacking coffee creamers, but went too high and it toppled. Shortly, eyes down, “No.”

 

Light picked up a creamer and stacked it to repair the tower, L glancing up in surprise. “I’m no match for you L.” He stacked a few more. “And I’ll do my best to help you catch Kira if you let me on the team.” Several more and the tower was fixed. “But I’d really like it if we could be friends.” Light slowly drew his fingers away so not to knock it down again, as L chewed a hangnail, watching him.

 

L looked away. The one he wanted to believe was true was the wrong one. He knew it was the wrong one, and he wanted it anyway. He was quiet for awhile, not wanting his wish to be either confirmed or denied. “I’ll do the extra credit.”

 

Light smiled, “Let’s both do it. You do your poem and I’ll do mine. Let’s show that idiot professor.”

 

L nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed for an unknown reason, and jumped up from his crouch. He threw some money on the table. “See you tomorrow.”

 

Light gave him a confused look, “Wait, so am I on the Kira case or not?” _Did I fail his silly test, whatever that was supposed to prove?_

  
L called over his shoulder as he pushed through the door, “Maybe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up they do the extra credit and write their own poems. Wonder what they’ll say? ;)  
> Also Light will invite L to a college party which may have interesting results. Stay tuned 
> 
>  
> 
> Gemini Hybrid: https://www.edmundsroses.com/P/23755/Gemini+Hybrid+Tea+Rose
> 
> I just joined tumblr and it is cold and lonely! Find me: kiranatrix


	6. Alarms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light invites L to a college party. He says no then does something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turn - The Wombats (https://youtu.be/SWwfT8yyz0Y)
> 
> Watering plastic plants and hoping they will grow  
> I like the way your brain works

L crouched alone in Kira HQ that night well after everyone else had left, poring over the latest deaths that he believed to be Kira related. But he kept coming to the same conclusion no matter where he looked.  _Light is Kira. I already know he is with high certainty. So why aren't I doing anything?_

 

He sighed, closing the spreadsheet and looking at the rose from Light's mother's garden on his desk. He'd placed it in a mug of water yesterday, and got a few odd looks from the team, but no one said anything.  _They're too afraid of me to say anything._ He smiled a little, liking the thought of keeping them on their toes. But the rose was open wide and would be dead soon, and he didn't much like that. He touched a petal and it came away in his fingers. And for some reason he felt a little pang of panic. 

 

"You know, its possible to grow a rose from a cutting, sir."

 

L swiveled around in his chair, surprised he hadn't heard Watari come in. He pulled back his fingers from the rose and placed his hands on his knees. "Yes, I know it is possible for some plants." He turned his eyes up to the ceiling. "But I doubt I could do it. My thumb is rather black Watari." He turned to the older man and smiled.

 

Watari sat down next to L and gazed at the flower. "What kind of rose is this?" He adjusted his glasses as he examined it. "Not sure I've seen this variety before."

 

"Gemini hybrid." L chewed the inside of his cheek. 

 

Watari nodded. "And how are your studies going? Are you enjoying yourself at college even just a little, sir?"

 

L shrugged his shoulders. "I'm getting some insight into the case I think. But the classwork bores me. The professors bore me. The students bore me."

 

"All of them?" There was a hint of amusement in Watari's voice. He was wiser than L gave him credit for sometimes. L didn't respond. After a moment, Watari stood up, taking L's empty dishes with him. "Well goodnight sir. And..."

 

L looked up at him, "Yes?"

 

"If one were so inclined there is potting soil and pots up on the roof." And with that, Watari walked out of the monitor room. 

 

L slowly shut his laptop and gazed at the rose again.  _I could give it a shot. Its going to die anyway, so I don't have much to lose. But then_ _again, I don't really know what I'm doing. I might just kill it faster. Have less time to enjoy it while its beautiful._

 

He was pulled from his reverie by his phone going off.  _Light._ He pulled it from his pocket, unconsciously smiling down at the message. 'Am I on the Kira case or not Ryuga?'

 

L could almost hear the irritation in Light's voice.  _You've been stewing about that since we left the cafe, haven't you?_ He texted back, 'Ah but what if Light is Kira? I'm still not sure what is best.'  _A lie. I know what I should be doing. And I'm not doing it. Instead, I’m adding Kira to the case just so I can be near to him, won’t I?_

 

'I'm not Kira! You're going to make me mad if you keep that up.'

 

L shifted in his crouch, finding himself getting excited at the thought of Kira's anger directed at him. 'What is Light-kun doing right now?'

 

'Other than being annoyed?'

 

'Yes other than that.' 

 

'Trying to think of a good excuse why I can't go to some stupid party with Takada tomorrow.'

 

'A party'

 

'You know, a large group of people having fun?'

 

'Yes I am aware of their existence.'

 

There was a pause and L got a response from Light. 'You've never been to one have you'

 

L bit his lip, embarrassed by the truth.  _No, I haven't._ 'I've been a bit busy catching the world's criminals.'

 

'Yes I imagine that leaves little time for something so very trivial like fun.'

 

 _More like I've never been invited._ 'Maybe Light-kun should go then if they are so fun.'

 

'Maybe you should'

 

L froze. The thought of a crowd of people, loud music, drinking, people trying to hook up or dancing....it made him extremely uncomfortable. 'No.'

 

'Why not? I'm asking you to come with me'

 

L's heart rate sped up, he could hear the blood pounding in his ears. The bulge already in his pants throbbed, and he looked around nervously to make sure Watari was really gone before touching himself.  _Light is asking me to go have fun with him. And...I want to. But, it is a conflict and wrong. He's Kira. I can't pretend he's a friend._ 'No.' 

 

L didn't get a response for a few minutes.  _I doubt he's used to hearing 'no.' I'm sure anyone else would have said yes. I want to say yes, Light._ L typed 'yes' and deleted it. He did it again. He typed it a third time and his finger hovered over the 'send' button when he got a message back. 'Then I'm going with Takada.'

 

L grit his teeth, more angry at his emotional response to that message than at the message itself. 'Yes. Have fun'

 

'Hope you get some important work done. Kira's toast at this rate huh.'

 

L snapped his phone shut and slammed it down on his desk, shattering it. He closed his eyes and tried to meditate to bring his temper under control, but it didn't help that he was still hard as hell.  _I feel jealousy._  He clenched his fingers around his erection through his jeans. _I want him._  He exhaled the truth. _And I want him even more because he's Kira._

 

L sat there for a few minutes until he was calm, and brushed the remnants of his phone into the trash. Then he picked up the rose and headed to the roof. 

 

_\-----------_

 

Light stepped out of Takada's black convertible and onto the curb. It was a swanky part of Tokyo, opulent houses instead of stacks of high-rises lined the leafy street. His friend Shinji's parents were out of the country for a month and he'd finally gotten tired of behaving, deciding to throw a huge kegger for nearly the entire freshman class at To-oh and half of the rest of the school. Light gazed up at the mansion from the street, its windows were lit up like a constellation of strobing stars, and the throbbing music could be heard into the street. 

 

Takada locked the car with a beep and sidled up to Light, taking his arm. A nervous laugh, "Looks a bit rowdy in there." She adjusted her tasteful but slinky red dress and tossed her hair. She smiled and pressed against him seductively, obviously thrilled to be his date tonight.

 

Ryuk pretended to do the same behind her, swaying his demon hips and tossing nonexistent hair with a cackle. In a mocking voice, “Notice me Light-o! Tee hee!”

 

Light grinned down at her to avoid laughing at Ryuk, "Sounds like my kinda party. Ready?" His smile faltered and he stiffened as she leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek, but he slid his mask back into place quickly. Ryuk looked livid, and stopped his mocking, blankly turning away. "Let's go." Light quickly headed towards the house, feeling stupid for doing this purely out of spite.  _I'm not going to have any fun tonight, I don't even know why I'm here. Its probably cruel to lead her on._ But he led her up the walkway steps anyway.  _I'll have fun one way or another. Who cares if L said no._

 

Shinji was standing in the half-open door, a red plastic cup teetering in one hand, while yelling up the double staircase at some drunk students sliding down the bannisters. "Hey stop that! Hey I told you..." But he doubled over in laughter, not serious about stopping them. One of the students yelled back to him before riding down, "Just consider it extra polishing Shinji!" The student toppled over halfway down the bannister and fell the rest of the way down the stairs, giggling as his friends hoisted him up to the top again. 

 

Shinji turned to the newcomers, grinning wide, "Holy shit! Light you came!!" He drunkenly hugged Light even though he barely knew him, sloshing his suspicious punch all over Takada's dress and ignoring her howl. He hollered into the party, "HEY LIGHT'S HERE!" Dozens of eyes, male and female, snapped up at that and tried to remain nonchalant as they furtively stared. Shinji grabbed Light's arm and pulled him over to a makeshift punchbowl (an aquarium, Light saw with some horror) and dipped a plastic cup into the red liquid, thrusting it into Light’s hand. "Here! Drink up! My own special recipe."

 

Takada stormed over behind them, "Shinji! Look what you did!" She pointed to her dress which was now all wet down the front. “Just...where’s the bathroom...ugh...” Shinji gave her an apologetic grimace and pointed her to the bathroom and she held her head high as she moved through the crowd towards it.

 

Shinji giggled and shrugged, turning back to Light. “Oh that reminds me. Somebody’s looking for you.” He looked out into the party. “Well, now that I think about it a lot of people were looking for you, but I couldn’t forget this guy. Didn’t remember inviting him either but hey, live and let live I say!” He downed the huge cup of punch and burped.

 

Light remained outwardly calm but felt a little thrill inside. _Uh oh._  He shot Ryuk a glare as his long tongue snaked towards the aquarium but quickly recoiled under Light’s warning. “Lemme guess. Black spiky hair? Bad posture?” Light sighed and scanned for Ryuga but didn’t see him. _L did you really come after all? Then why did you turn me down?_

 

Shinji smiled wide and snapped his fingers, “Yeah! So you do know him! I almost threw him out of the party he seemed like such a creep.” He dipped his cup in the aquarium again and held it up to cheers Light.

 

Light gave his drink a dubious look but sipped politely. Surprised, “Hey this isn’t bad.” 

 

Shinji nodded and waved in encouragement for Light to drink more. “Yeah see! Shinji got you! Drink up! Have fun! Get laid!” And with that he gently pushed Light into the throng of drunk dancing people and ran up the stairs to do a bannister-slide of his own.

 

Takada came back from the bathroom and found Light, shooting daggers in the direction of Shinji. “Idiot. Ruined my dress.” She smiled up at Light, “But at least I’m cleaned up now.”

 

“Yikes, sorry bout that. Sure he didn’t mean to.” Light made his best sympathetic face, ignoring Ryuk as he hovered over the college kids taking sips from their drinks when they weren’t looking. 

 

“Well how about we dance?” Takada ran a finger down Light’s chest and smiled at him coyly.

 

Light coughed and hurriedly downed the rest of his punch. “Um...” _Oh please no._ He looked around for Ryuga again but still didn’t see him.

 

”Come on, it’ll be fun.” And with that she dragged him out on the dance floor.

 

But they had only been dancing for one song when Shinji and 5 of his friends came over and grabbed Light by the arm. “He—hey! Shinji! What’s the big idea?!!”

 

Shinji laughed and just kept dragging Light towards a closet. “I owe your date one for ruining her dress haha! So in the closet you go—seven minutes of heaven time! You can thank me later.” He opened the closet door and struggled to get Light inside. “Kiyomi-chan will join you shortly ha!” 

 

”But—!” Light was unceremoniously pushed into the coat closet and the door slammed. He wiggled the handle but someone was holding it closed outside. “Hey let me out!!” _Ryuk, you useless thing, open this door!_ He banged on the door but it no use. _Shit! Now they’re going to put Kiyomi in here and she’ll expect..._

 

Just then he heard a piercing car alarm sound outside and voices excitedly yelling and talking outside the closet door. He tried the handle again but it still wouldn’t budge. Light sighed, resigned to his fate, when the door suddeny opened and someone stepped inside, shutting it behind them quickly.

 

It was pitch black in the closet. “Kiyomi-kun?” A shadow stepped closer to Light. There wasn’t much room in the closet, and Light could hear them breathing. “I’m sorry about this, Shinji—“ But Light was silenced as he felt an angular body press him against the wall and a hand cover his mouth.

 

”Is Light-kun Kira?” 

 

The breathless whisper in his ear was unmistakeable, even though he couldn’t see a thing. _Not Kiyomi. It’s Ryuga...L!_ Light’s voice was muffled behind the hand so he shook his head instead.

 

L’s hand slowly moved from Light’s mouth, across his cheek in the dark, his fingers tracing behind his neck to rest there. The whisper repeated, “Is Light-kun Kira?” He pressed harder against Light, their chests now touching.

 

And Light froze as he felt himself becoming extremely aroused, locked in this closet with his enemy he’d fantasized of killing so many times. _Not just killing..._ Light opened his mouth, but Kira spoke in a breathless whisper.“Ryuga...what are you doing...” The car alarm was still sounding outside. _I could kill him here, no one would hear._ The thought made him hiss softly, he wanted both to touch himself and to wrap his fingers around L’s neck and squeeze. _There’s too many people, I can’t do it this way. I need his name!_

 

L’s fingers threaded into Light’s hair, and he shifted his hips as he felt Light’s erection against his leg. _He’s...hard?!_ L started breathing slightly faster, it was intoxicating being so close to Light, and to feel unmistakable evidence of his arousal. Panting softly, “Is Light-kun Kira?!” He bent forward, his nose just barely grazing Light’s neck and he could smell clean skin, “Is he?”

 

Light grabbed L’s hand behind his head, wrapping fingers around his wrist. Softly, “Did you come here just to ask me that Ryuga? You already knew what I’d say.”

 

L tried to pull his hand back but Light’s grip on his wrist tightened. “Yes I knew what you’d say.” 

 

Light smiled in the dark, knowing L couldn’t see him. _L the detective, you’ve given yourself away. But I doubt attraction is anything close to enough to keep you from trying to stop me. But can I use this to get close to you? To get into the Kira case?_ “Then why did you come, Ryuga?” Light let his other hand travel up L’s back. “And why didn’t you come with me?” 

 

L jerked slightly as Light touched him, but didn’t pull away. “You really wanted me to?”

 

”Yes.” And Light felt L’s erection push harder against his thigh. 

 

L felt lost in the dark, in the case, in a maze of twists and all the dead ends led to Kira’s eyes. “Light-kun can join the case if...”

 

”If what, L?”

 

L leaned forward again, hearing Light say his real name. “If...if...” But he wasn’t sure what the rest of that sentence should be. _If you aren’t Kira? If you ARE Kira? Which is better, which would I prefer? What am I even doing? Everything I’ve done is wrong..._

 

“If what, L?” Light’s hand moved under L’s shirt and he traced his fingertips under the line of his ribcage. “If I swear I’m not Kira? But that wouldn’t make a difference would it? You don’t trust me.”

 

”No.” 

 

Light’s hand moved further up L’s chest. “Then don’t trust me. If you think I’m Kira, isn’t it better to keep me close?” His lips were so close to L’s he could feel his exhaled breath. Softer, “You want me close.”

 

”Yes.” It was an admission and sounded like one.

 

“How close?” Light released his grip on L’s wrist, but L didn’t remove his hand from Light’s hair this time. He leaned forward in the darkness and pressed his lips to L’s, and they were soft, yielding despite L being otherwise frozen in shock. 

 

L mumbled, “No, stop it.” But he didn’t stop kissing Light back when Light slipped his tongue inside his mouth. Didn’t pull his hand away but rather clenched his fingers tightly in Light’s hair. 

 

But the car alarm suddenly stopped.

 

And L pulled back with a gasp.

 

Light heard him dig into his pocket and then a cacophony of car alarms were blaring outside. An explosion of excited voices and trampling feet sounded even through the closet, and L opened the door into the chaos while everyone was distracted. And without another glance at Light, he sprinted away. 

 

Light stepped out of the closet too and looked around. People were heading out the door in a stampede, confused by the noise, worried it would alert the cops and bust up their illicit party.

 

But Takada was there, her car keys in her hand, and they met eyes over the exodus of students. _It was your alarm he sounded first._ Light saw her realization of who he’d been in there with, and she clenched her jaw and pushed out the door as well. Light tried to chase after her, but the crowd of people held him back. And by the time he made it to the curb, her black convertible was gone and he was alone amidst a discordant symphony of car alarms and the cackling of an amused shinigami.

 

———-

 

L crouched on the edge of the roof of Kira HQ after the party, looking out into the rising dawn of Sunday. He held a pot in his hands, but the flower planted within it wasn’t alive anymore. It had withered and dropped all its petals, just the ugly thorned stem remained. It made him angry to look at so he plucked it from the dirt and hurled it over the side of the roof where it drifted and plummeted to the street. 

 

And then he texted Light, forgetting it was 6 am and he was probably asleep.

 

”You’re in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up we hear the results of Light and L’s school project, some fallout from that closet kiss, and prob a little bit of solo smut ;)
> 
> I have joined tumblr and it is cold and lonely! Find me: kiranatrix


	7. Pieces of Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L turn in their project, but the rules have changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Float On- Modest Mouse (https://youtu.be/CTAud5O7Qqk)

Monday morning came too soon, and Light was still trying to figure out damage control on his walk to school. Even Ryuk was quiet and somber as he flapped beside Light; he’d been rather sulky since the party.

 

Kiyomi hadn't answered her phone the night of the party, and Light was reduced to having to call a cab to get back home, given that he lived across the city. He didn't think it would matter to her if he tried to explain it wasn't  _his_ idea that L barge in there; in fact he doubted she wanted to hear from him for a while given she hadn't exactly had the best time. And what was he supposed to say happened in the closet? That Ryuga was really a secret famous detective and had been accusing Light of being a secret serial killer but they ended up making out instead?

 

No, probably best to keep quiet and let it all blow over. _At least I don’t have a class with her today._ Light just hoped she'd keep her silence as no one else had seemed to notice L emerge from the closet in the chaos of leaving the party.

 

At some point, he'd have to talk with L, which may be epically awkward. Light had turned in their English Lit project Friday via the class website, but the extra credit was due in class today, if L had bothered to do his. After what happened at the party, Light had no clue what to expect. But he'd received the text message from L early Sunday morning saying he was on the Kira case, so maybe his tactic hadn't been a bad one after all.  _I made the best of the situation, and now I'm on the Kira case. Now I'll know what he knows, what the police knows. I can hide in plain sight. Plus...I enjoyed it, if I’m honest._

 

But it wasn't really hiding, was it?  _L already suspects I'm Kira, strongly enough to even confront me to my face. Is he still so doubtful, or is he taunting me? Why doesn't he do something about it?_

 

_\----------_

 

Light found his usual seat in the back of the Lit classroom, but noticed that neither their professor nor Ryuga were there yet. He glanced down at his watch, just 5 minutes before class started. Nervous, he pulled out the extra credit assignment he was turning in today, his own poem based on Emily Dickinson's "We Never Know How High We Are." He gave it a quick read now to calm his nerves:

 

 

**Cubits**

We don’t know how alone we are  
Till we are made to lie  
And turn away a mirrored cloud  
In darkly weathered skies.

  
To rise a devil or a god  
May tear the world asunder.  
To walk beneath the silent rain,  
Or steps that echo thunder?

 

 

Light frowned.  _Its not very good, but hopefully good enough for our idiot professor to give me top marks._ _It does at least follow Dickinson's theme and style._ He looked up and saw Ryuga slouching through the door, avoiding his eyes as he crouched in the desk in front of Light. Before Light could say anything, Shinji called from across the classroom, "Hey, anybody know where the professor is?" He laughed, "Hey maybe its a free class! I got some cards--"

 

As if in answer, someone else walked through the door in a brown tweed suit, but it wasn't their professor. Light paled.  _Oh no, no no. Not him. Anyone but him._

 

The man set his briefcase down on the front desk turned to the class with a sickly, practiced smile, "Good afternoon students. Oh how I do love seeing such young curious faces so happy and eager to learn." He wrote his name in large letters on the whiteboard.  _Tanaka-sensei._ "Your usual professor has taken a family leave abruptly, so I have agreed to take over this class for him."

 

Light scrunched down a little in his chair, trying to hide from his old highschool teacher's gaze behind L's wild hair. Tanaka had been one of the few people Light's charm had not worked on, and while Light had still delighted in challenging him occasionally in class just to get a rise out of him, it usually had ended with Light sullenly grading papers after class.  _He'd even called my father at work about my 'defiance'!_ But even worse than that, he got a distinctively creepy feeling from Tanaka, and had always suspected that it was him who had been leaving inappropriate notes in his desk during that entire semester.  _Of course I could never prove it. Ugh, perhaps Kira should....no....I've already taken a risk by writing that bully's name. My own teacher would be too obvious._

 

But Light did not escape Tanaka's gaze as it hovered over the students, "Ahhhhhhh. Yagami-san!" Tanaka chuckled and gave Light a smug look, clearly pleased to see Light's discomfort. "Well, I see that we have been reunited by the universe under our common love of learning." 

 

 _The universe? More like the forces of hell._ Light reluctantly sat up straighter, realizing the whole class was now staring at him. He smiled, voice dripping with honey, "Welcome to To-Oh Tanaka-sensei. Although, I believe you taught history at my school? Who would have guessed your interests were so very broad. Truly we are lucky to have you."

 

Tanaka's smile tightened but he did not let his recognition of Light's facetious greeting show. "Yes lucky indeed." His gaze now fell upon L crouching in front of Light, and he gasped dramatically. "And what horrid, disruptive manner of sitting is this?!" Tanaka's face was an exaggerated mask of shock. "I don't care what your previous professor let you get away with, THAT is not acceptable in MY classroom." He picked up a long ruler and walked over to L's desk, snapping the ruler down on it with a loud crack that made L's eyes go wide and his pencil wobble from his fingers to the floor.

 

Light grimaced, he'd already had to come to L's rescue once over this scenario and eventually the class had taken no more notice of L's odd habit. But with Tanaka, Light doubted it would be so easy...."Tanaka-sensei, we all have our little quirks, no? Surely he's not being disruptive--"

 

Tanaka now snapped the ruler on Light's desk, "I don't remember asking you Yagami-san. If I say it is disruptive, it IS disruptive." Back to L, his quiet tone dangerous as L defiantly met his eyes, "Now. _Sit._ " L held his gaze and didn't move.  _Crack!_ "I said SIT!" Tanaka's face was going red, he wasn't backing down on his first day. 

 

Light reached his fingers to softly touch L's arm, on the side that Tanaka couldn't see. _Just do it L, I know this guy and he's a real bastard. Don't make your life harder._ And as if L received his thoughts, he slowly lowered his knees and legs to under the desk, and turned to stare down at his papers. 

 

Tanaka smirked, the round won. "Very good." He walked to the head of the class again. "I believe you all have some assignments due today." He checked some notes, "Ah yes, original poetry for extra credit. I see." He adjusted his glasses. "And how many students completed this assignment?" About ten people raised their hands, including Light and L. "Well, I believe that in order to receive the credit, you shall also read your poem to the class." When the class groaned he smacked his ruler on his desk and silenced them all.

 

L started to sweat, the idea of reading his poem aloud made him extraordinarily uncomfortable. He looked down at it now, chewing his thumb, and wishing now he hadn't raised his hand or even agreed to do this.  _But I did agree. Because it was important to Light. Shit._ One by one the students came up and read their poems; L was a bit relieved to see that no one looked at ease doing so.

 

No one, that is, but Light. When it was his turn, he confidently read the Dickinson poem and then his short poem, bowing at the end and going to sit back down with a relaxed smile aimed at a glowering Tanaka-sensei.  _His poem was good, and was he saying more than...no, I shouldn't read too much into the words he chose. It was just an assignment, but was he talking about.....but then I did, didn't I?_ Tanaka pointed to L and he bit his lip, hesitantly shuffling to the head of the class. L started off softly but was prompted by Tanaka to speak up so he did as he started over, staring down at the words on the page and imagining he was back at Kira HQ in his chair. _Anywhere but here, doing this._ First he read the original Gary Soto poem, and then his own:

 

 

**Not Rings**

It’s pointless,  
counting the rings of Saturn.  
Not rings at all—  
only lonely ice drifting together.  
But ice has no border,  
water no edge.  
What if they joined?  
These pieces of water  
could be rings for us,  
but needled trust  
will slip through my fingers  
if they fail to freeze.  
Flung back to space, unfit,  
drifting without orbit.

 

 

At the end, L looked up and caught Light staring at him, eyes boring right through him but smiling just slightly.  _Will you think about the words I chose, Kira? Are you also doubting that they are meant for you, as I wonder about yours?_ Light didn't look away, just tilted his head slightly as if to say, 'how curious.' L's thoughts were broken by a loud, rude snort, and his eyes shot over to Tanaka. 

  

"Well, that was just awful." Tanaka leaned up from his desk and shook his head in disappointment. "Other than Yagami-san's poem, which was truly quite inspired..." He nodded at Light with genuine sentiment, but Light didn't nod back, "...all of these were just absolute dreck." A tiny smile tugged at the corner of Tanaka-sensei's mouth as he saw the defiant Ryuga start to shake in anger, " _Especially_ yours."

 

L's eyes narrowed and he crumpled up the paper in his fist, kicked open the classroom door, and left. The rest of the students started to murmur in disbelief, both at their new professor's words and Ryuga's behavior.

 

Light stood up, glaring at Tanaka-sensei with barely concealed fury. Softly, "How dare you." And every student hushed, looking between Tanaka and Light.

 

"Excuse me?" Tanaka's brought his head back, amazed that the one student he'd praised was acting this way.

 

Light stepped from behind his desk. "I said...HOW DARE YOU!" He walked up to Tanaka and took his long ruler, snapping it in half and tossing the pieces aside. He leaned in, whispering quietly so no one but Tanaka could hear, "Listen you pompous piece of shit, you are going to apologize to Ryuga, and you are going to let him sit exactly the way he wants. I don't care if he decides to sit right on top of that cheap as hell toupee of yours, you won't say a peep."

 

Takana huffed, speechless.

 

Light grinned darkly, leaning in closer to whisper even softer, "Because if you don't, I still have every damn one of those nasty notes Tanaka. And yes, I know it was you." He pulled back to gauge Tanaka's reaction, knowing that his bluff was actually the truth as soon as all the color drained from Tanaka's face. Tanaka nodded and Light grabbed his stuff from his desk and ran after L, pushing through the broken door and looking down the hall.

 

Little bits of torn up paper were scattered on the floor, and Light ran as he followed them to the source. The men's bathroom. Light hesitantly pushed the door in, looking around. It was during class, so it was deserted, except for one person. Ryuga was there, standing in front of a bloody broken mirror, his hand cut badly and dripping blood onto the tiled floor. He turned his wide eyes to Light as he heard footsteps behind him, not knowing whether to feel relieved or even more panicked that it was him.  _Light. Kira._

 

Light took a few steps forward, and whispered, "Ryuga! What did you do?" He stared at L's hand, and L finally did too, seeming to notice it for the first time.

 

"Oh...." He stuck it under the sink and started to rinse it, but winced.  _Why did I come here instead of just calling Watari? Hoped you come after me?_

 

Light gently took L's hand, "Let me look at that." L let him, not looking at Light. "There's a piece of mirror embedded in your hand. Will you let me get it out?"

 

L nodded reluctantly, cursing himself, wondering how many times he could feel humiliated in one day.

 

They sat on the floor of the bathroom and Light gently worked the piece out of the L's knuckle. Light shook his head, “What got into you?”  _It’s not deep, at least._

 

L didn’t say anything, just stared up at the ceiling, but flinched.

 

Light sighed, "Tanaka was outta line." He pulled the shard out and L grunted softly with the pain. “He shouldn’t have said that.”

 

“Light-kun doesn't have to humor me.” L felt slightly dizzy as he looked down at his hand, the bleeding wasn’t heavy but it wasn’t stopping either.

 

Light saw the look on L’s face and pulled off his shirt, ripping a long piece of cloth from it. He wrapped it tightly around L’s hand to staunch the bleeding. "I spoke with Tanaka, he'll never bother you again.” Light tied the ends of the cloth together tightly, and turned L’s hand to examine the makeshift bandage. “I promise you."

 

L stiffened and pulled his hand away. _Never bother me again?_  He snapped, “Like that bully? Shall Kira solve all my personal problems by murdering them?”

 

Light felt a chill, both from having no shirt in the cold bathroom and from L’s words. “No, I mean I asked him to leave you alone, and he said he would.” Light looked away, a bit hurt. _I was trying to help you._ “He’s not a very nice person. He used to teach at my high school and...well, he’s not a nice person.” He gave L a meaningful look.

 

L didn’t know exactly what Light meant but he understood enough, feeling guilty now as he looked at a shirtless Light, sitting here in the bathroom and missing class because of L’s outburst. “I didn’t mean to sound—“

 

"I liked your poem." _I understood your poem. Do you really want my trust?_

 

L brought his knees to his chest defensively. “Light-kun’s was also...” He smiled a little, “...not absolute dreck.” _And shall Kira rise a demon or a god? Or both?_

 

Light giggled, the tension finally broken. “He really is a pompous ass isn’t he.” Light was already thinking of how he’d bribe Ryuk with apples to get Tanaka’s toupee to dance for the next class. “But don’t let him get to you, that’s what he wants anyway.”

 

L brought a non-injured finger to his mouth, “I didn’t think someone like Kira would have empathy.” He held up his bandaged hand like ‘why?’

 

Light’s smile fell away. “I’m not Kira, Ryuga.”

 

L stood up, gazing down at Light a moment. _Is it pointless, counting the rings of Saturn?_ “I tried to grow it, the rose.” _Not rings at all._ “I put it in some dirt and tried to get it to root.” _Just solitary ice. “_ But I didn’t know what I was doing.” _Water_ _has no edge. “_ And it died.” _Could they join?_ “Before it had to.”

 

Light gave him a puzzled smile. He thought maybe L would apologize for pinning him in the closet, but no. _He wants to mourn a cut flower._ “Everything beautiful dies eventually, Ryuga. Flowers remind us of that.”

 

L nodded thoughtfully. “I thought I could make it last longer.” _Slipped through my fingers._ “Ah, hubris.” _Failed to freeze_. “I seem to have rambled.” _Flung to space unfit._ He walked to the door, leaving Light sitting on the bathroom tile. He didn’t turn around, but stopped at the door. “Thank you.” And pushed on through.

 

_I’m drifting without orbit._

 

_—————-_

 

Soichiro set the plant on L’s desk at Kira HQ, still confused as to why Sachiko had been so insistent he bring it. “Um, this is from my wife Ryuzaki. She said that maybe it would...brighten up the place.” He scratched his head, wondering why she’d apparently sent Light to dig up one of her prize rosebushes late last night.

 

L turned from his donut to the plant, eyes going very wide as he paused mid-bite. “Tumpth er fankfu.” He swallowed, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “Tell her thank you.” He smiled at Sochiro and softly poked one of the new buds. 

 

Sochiro shrugged but nodded, “Ok, I suppose it is nice to have something green in here.” He wandered away to sit and get to work.

 

L examined the pot and noticed something taped to the bottom of it. It was all the torn up pieces of his poem, taped back together and whole again. And at the very top was the professor’s red ink mark: A+.

 

And beneath that, Light’s careful script:

 

_A walk beneath the silent rain or steps that echo thunder?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real poems:
> 
>  **Desire by Gary Soto** (L’s)
> 
> It's easy to hunger.  
> One day, a night,  
> And there you are,  
> Sunlight between fingers  
> And you are looking in   
> Trees. Birds are  
> Striking fruit,  
> An almond open  
> Like a woman’s love,  
> And a single feather   
> Rocks downward in air.  
> I’m hungry now.
> 
>  
> 
>  **We never know how high we are**  
>  By Emily Dickinson (Light’s)
> 
> We never know how high we are  
> Till we are called to rise;  
> And then, if we are true to plan,  
> Our statures touch the skies—
> 
> The Heroism we recite  
> Would be a daily thing,  
> Did not ourselves the Cubits warp  
> For fear to be a King—

**Author's Note:**

> I’m on tumblr: [kiranatrix](https://kiranatrix.tumblr.com)


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